Home Sick

Blah I am sick today. Sore throat. I was watching ALOT of HGTV and inspired by Devine Design, decided to use my extra tissue paper to cover boxes for more storage. Do you know I just saved myself probably a hundred dollars? I was able to use my boxes for storage so that I didn't go to Target and buy myself the shelving units I was planning on purchasing. I stacked them in a very stylish way and now it looks "designerish" and I didn't spend a dime.

Yesterday I went with my mom and my sister to Lancaster where we went to a thrift store that is full of 75 cent bins. I got SO MUCH stuff including two adorable blouses, shoes, blankets, a REALLY nice coat, a sweater for Scott, tables, a cute toybox shaped as a zebra (just LOVED it and couldn't let it go, 3 side tables (that I stacked and turned into a shelving unit to highlight my boxes) and floral contact paper - all for under $30.

As I sit back and survey my findings, I'm realizing this is how I am a singer. I spend THOUSANDS of dollars every year on voice lessons, application fees, travel costs and publicity materials. I work only 9 hours a week and Scott doesn't make much more than me ... We are both musicians and still we affoard a nice way of life and feel financially stable. I guess that's the magic of thrift stores. Honestly - I don't think there is a new piece of furniture in this apartment and somehow it all goes together beautifully. Thrift stores are a gift from God. I think I will use them as long as they are around.

On another note - my sister goes to Rome, Italy on Friday for study abroad. I am so excited for her and know that her life will never be the same after this trip; Living in another country really shapes your outlook on life and I am so excited to hear about the life lessons she learns.

Sorry this entry was so boring ... not much going on around here since I'm layed up on the couch with the sorest throat I've had in years. YUCK!

Peace and love everyone. Have a great week!

A rainy day

I don't know if this is a common occurrence with all of you, but when it rains I become very contemplative. My mind circulates through my latest life lessons, and I usually wind up going to one of my favorite stores and buying something comforting (today it was driving a half an hour toward civilization: first the Goodwill where I bought a vintage fedora for Scott and a funky sweater for myself - and then a bunch of baskets and a hot cup of coffee at Target). 

At the audition the other night, I did a breathing technique that is new to me, and that I learned from my current voice teacher Delores Ziegler (hi Delores, if you're reading this! :-)  And it was very helpful not only in getting my heart rate to go down, but also in allowing me to really experience the audition, rather than blanking out and forgetting most of it, which is what usually happens. Today, I was able to review in my mind all that I did right, and all that I did wrong, where as before it would all be jumbled so thoroughly that I could never remember the details. 

So what did I do wrong? First, I came in showing the late train in my face. I was TERRIFIED of rejection, and I believe that this may have shown as well. I was  too humble, and I was directionless.

BUT i DID do some things right as well. During my singing, I thought about keeping my energy low (for those of you who do not sing - that means not letting my shoulders and chest muscles creep up. This is a common habit of mine that I think may be a defense mechanism. It kind of makes you look "all puffed up" like a young dude who has just had his girlfriend hit on at the county fair and who wants to demonstrate his pectoral strength :-). 

I also was calm enough not to CHOKE during my singing, which happens A LOT! Hm ... how do I explain this ANNOYING phenomenon ........ I sing, and then for some WEIRD reason, I swallow, which of course interrupts the sound. This has happened ever since I started singing and LAST NIGHT WAS THE FIRST TIME IT DIDN'T HAPPEN AT AN AUDITION. I was sure it would, since I was so nervous about being late.  I mean it never happens in private lessons anymore, but I'm never nervous during a lesson. LAST NIGHT I WAS SOOO NERVOUS AND I DIDN'T SWALLOW. SO congratulate me, everyone. I deserve it :-)

Hm ... I wasn't very graceful about loosing on Friday night ... at least not to Scott. I was very sad, but now that I look back, I did at least two things which I have never accomplished before, so I should have been happy. But the more momentum I get in this singing thing, the more these things begin to matter to me. Is that okay? Should I be getting more callus? Well maybe what matters is that you can shake it off after the first day, which I certainly was able to do. Let me just say that playing the Wii is super cathartic for this opera singer ......

Anythoughts? I bet those of you who are not musicians have to deal with similar let downs? Nerves? Fears .....?  How do you realease them into the night?

Hello

Hello friends, family and strangers. I am Leah Crowne, a 30 year old Wagnerian soprano who has not yet gotten her big break. I am someone who wants a family of her own and who has a VERY supportive husband who is helping her out through all of this. I have a HUGE extended family (seven younger siblings and a million cousins). I teach at a college (voice lessons ;-) and I love what I do ... most of the time.

I am starting this blog for a lot of reasons. One is that I want to make it available to my family who often wonder what the heck I am doing out here in opera land! I don't blame any of you for wondering what it is like when I go audition and why at age 30 (and after ten years of training) I am still doing it. I know you all support me and are proud of me, and that means a lot! I thought this could be a great way of sharing my experiences on the road with all of you.

I guess I can start with my latest and greatest achievement which was being accepted into the Washington DC Wager Society's Emerging Singer's Program. This was great news because ever since I started singing ten years ago, people have been speculating that I would be a Wagnerian Soprano. When you are a Wagnerian, you have more time to get started in the field - but the game is all about waiting, training and networking. The Wagnerian voice has to sing over an orchestra so huge, it could make your ears bleed. I like to compare it to modern music - Wagner is like Led Zeppelin, Metallica or Nirvana as compared to Jewel (not to show my age or anything :-)  So your voice has to have build up stamina. And usually a woman like me isn't read to sing this stuff until well after age thirty. So this waiting game is normal for people like me. Really frustrating sometimes, but worth it in the end. 

So last night Scott and I went for a vocal competition at the Liederkranz in New York City. The Liederkranz is a German cultural center in the upper east side of Manhattan. It is opulent and intimidating - and EXTREMELY German. There is a lot of Gold. Everywhere. Chandeliers galore. And the rehearsal room where you go to warm up your voice has a giant wooden statue of some sort of knight with funny Beatles style hair. Not to mention the table ... well the table looks like a medieval feasting ground ... I love it down there. I always feel as though Oktoberfest will start at any minute and people will leap out of the walls wearing liederhosen. 

Well the train wound up being late. And I got there with ten minutes to change and warm up. My heart was beating so hard I SWORE (I know this is cliche) that everyone in the room could hear it. I had to ask for a moment to catch my breath. 

I stepped up on to the stage - oops. No I didn't. I walked the WRONG DIRECTION toward the judges because I was so discombobulated about being late. I stopped. Took a breath, and greeted them. One of them knew me from the Wagner Society. I smiled and waved like a little girl. THEN I STUMBLED OVER TO THE STAGE. 

Luckily I sang like a goddess - however, my introduction was so bad ... that MUST have been why I didn't place in the competition. 

Hm....

After the audition at the Liederkranz, Scott and I hopped on a cab to the West Side where I sang for a woman who teaches people entire roles of opera. She is reading through several productions this spring, and I wanted to be considered for a role in one of them. I sang well, and I think she may be interested, but I know that there are *hundreds?* of other sopranos lined up for the job. (*not sure hundreds for sure, but I was assuming, since that is usually the case!) I wasn't completely sure what vibe I got from her, but we shall see if I am singing Donna Anna in her living room next May ... I HOPE SO!! If not - I'll just learn it on my own, I guess. It would be fun to meet other singers through her program ... I would like to start to network in New York with other professionals who live there, just in case Scott and I wind up there someday.

We then ate dinner at a LOVELY Chinese restaurant where I had brown rice, tofu and veggis in a white sauce. Scott ate some eggplant drizzeled in their home sauce.  YUM!! Sorry to say - I indulged in a doughnut on the way home ........... 

So we took the train back to Elizabeth, New Jersey where we had parked. Then we drove home. Wow - three and half hours feels like a LONG LONG time when you are coming home late at night. I'm thinking it might be worth the extra hundred dollars to take the train from Harrisburg (which is the closest train to our home in Gettysburg - 45 minutes away). It's moments like those when I feel really far out in the boonies .... Maybe we will move after all. Not sure though ... we do have awfully good jobs.

I felt guilty this weekend because I had to miss out on my sister's birthday party. My cousin had come up from New York with her kids and I REALLY wanted to see them. SO I thought I'd meet them in Baltimore today, but I am SOO Tired from the trip (which wound up taking about 10 hours in travel time) that I am knocked out on the couch today. I will go to Buffalo at some point to see them. I love them so much, and it's been TOO long. 

So I hope this has been interesting ... Thank you for your ears - I mean eyes - I mean brains and eyes  .......    I hope you enjoyed my first blog. 

I look forward to hearing from anyone who wants to comment!! 

I will post some pictures next time!

Leah Badiah